Today I wanted a Daddy day with the kids so I decided to take them to the movies. We got there a little early so we sat in an empty theatre just the three of us, me in the middle, laughing and joking. Lauren looked at me and out of nowhere she said to me “daddy, can Dexter some back from Heaven?” Dexter was our dog and Lauren and Armando’s “big brother”. We had to put him down last year and the kids took it pretty hard.

I explained that once you’re in Heaven you don’t come back. I was caught off guard and wasn’t sure how to respond. I usually give Katrina the look and she handles these questions… I wasn’t prepared for what came next.

“I almost went to heaven, right Daddy? When I had cancer? But I beat it up so I don’t have to go to heaven right now, right?”

Crushed. I looked her in the eye and said that’s right baby, no heaven for you just yet. I had no idea what to say. No idea how to even approach it. My heart was crushed. We always knew what could have happened with her cancer. Hearing it from her though, it broke my heart and reminded me just how lucky we are to have her, how very lucky I was to be able to be in a movie with her and her brother sharing laughs and popcorn. Luckily the lights dimmed and they didn’t have to see my tears. Tears of sadness, joy, anger, gratefulness. All rolled into one.

#livfree #fun #cancerisntwinningoverhere #pediatriccancer#childhoodcancer #cancerawareness #cancer #cancersucks #family#familytime #events #helpothers #smile #oncology #chemotherapy#chemo #health #charity #givingback #leukemia #survivor#nonprofit

(She loved her Dexter and he loved her even more)

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